Dear Sawbones (may I call you Sawbones?), You've made a lot of statements on the campaign trail of late that lead me to question whether you've decided that truth is a terrible impediment to getting elected. I don't have the knowledge to analyze everything you've said. But there are four points you've repeated as a Democratic mantra that I do know, nine ways from Sunday. On those four I conclude you have the honesty of a five-year-old who's just gotten into the chocolate chip cookies – but with a mouth smeared with chocolate, says, “I didn't do it.” In order, your four obvious lies are about President Clinton, President Bush, the Texas legislature, and the recall election of Governor Davis in California. In each case, you claim that “The Republicans are acting to thwart democracy.” Well, let's take a look at the facts and see what we have. You challenge the impeachment of President Clinton as an effort to “reverse” the previous election. Hellooo. Elections are regular; they come around every four years, rain or shine. Impeachments are extremely rare; they only apply to malfeasance while in office. Would you confuse a routine physical exam with brain surgery, for instance? I hope not. Impeachment only applies to someone who is already in office. Self-evidently, Presidents Andrew Johnson and William Clinton, the only ones subjected to impeachment and trial, had been elected the last time they ran. Otherwise, the impeachment terms of the Constitution could never have applied to them. So your attack on the use of this process is an attack on the Constitution itself. If you don't like any provision of the Constitution, your legitimate choice is to seek to change it. And if you cannot get it changed, you must abide by it. Leastwise, that's what President Washington and most other Presidents to date have thought of the Constitution. Next, you attack the Florida litigation as an effort to “reverse” the 2000 election. Hellooo. You, sir (may I call you sir?), are aware of the Electoral College, in which votes have been counted not nationwide but state by state since 1789. You, sir, are aware the College has occasionally produced “minority” Presidents. You, sir, are aware that there were multiple recounts in Florida, including a year-long unofficial one led by the New York Times, ALL of which concluded that President Bush won Florida, and therefore won the election. Again, your quarrel is not with the Republicans, but with the Constitution. You claim that the California recall is a “reversal” of an election. Hellooo. You, my friend (may I call you friend?), are aware that the recall has been part of the California Constitution since 1911, and many other states have the same process. You, friend, are aware that recall cannot apply to any Governor unless that person has first been elected. Again, your quarrel is not with the Republicans (and Democrats and independents who signed the petition there), but with the California Constitution. You claim that the Texas redistricting battle is an assault on “democracy.” You, Shorty (may I call you Shorty?), are aware that the US Constitution commands every state legislature to redistrict its state after every Census, conducted every ten years. You are aware that the Texas legislature has not yet completed any redistricting as required after 2000. You are aware that the Texas Constitution requires that two-thirds of each House of its legislature must be present, for that House to act (a provision the Democrats are using by fleeing the state while the legislature is in session). Again, your quarrel is not with the Republicans but with the Texas and US Constitutions. By the way, you apparently approve of fleeing the jurisdiction when something happens that you don't like. Please state the conditions under which you would escape to Canada, if you were elected President and something you adamantly disliked was going down in Washington. I’d love to hear that. In all this I conclude that you are a liar. I have a bunch of friends who are doctors. On occasion I've met a graduate of law school who's dumb as a post, but never a graduate of medical school. You are too smart -- in an abstract sort of way that seems common among Democrats -- not to know the facts on these four issues. You know that you're lying. Howie baby, (may I call you Howie?) you're not alone in this. I've heard and read the same set of lies from many other Democrats over the last two weeks. Is there a fax machine somewhere in Washington that cranks out the “Lie of the Week” with instructions to all true Democrats to “ride this pony ‘til it drops dead”? If there is such a central fax machine, I bet it's on the desk of Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry (the $10 million man) McAuliffe. After all, Terry learned how to lie at the knee of a Grand Master, former President Bill Clinton. (Remember him? He was in all the papers. Whatever happened to him?) Are you willing to lie flat-out to the American people because you believe a sufficient number of them are dumb enough so you can fool them and win the next election? Is your goal to find an exception to Abraham Lincoln's famous comment, “You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time. But you can't fool all of the people all of the time.”? Is this the Dean Exception to the Lincoln admonition: “Maybe I can fool enough of the people enough of the time.”? As someone who's labored in the vineyards of constitutional law for decades, I assure you that it ain’t rocket science. Every part connects to every other. You just have to learn the parts and connect the dots. It's sort of like anatomy class in medical school. “The foot bone's connected to the ankle bone. And the ankle bone's connected to the shin bone ....” You remember that, don't you? So quit your lies about the US Constitution, and the California Constitution, and the Texas Constitution. Unless, of course, you genuinely believe that constitutions as the voice of the people just don't matter, and that constitutions should be treated like silly putty whenever they interfere with the hopes and intentions of Democrats. If you genuinely believe that, by all means say it – and see how far that gets you. Oh, and by the way, stop stealing your laugh lines from other people. That line you took from a TV show starring James Carville to deliver as if it was yours, before a slavering audience in Baltimore last week, reminds me of a short, cutting review of a Broadway play. The reviewer wrote, “It was both good and original. The part that was good was not original. The part which was original was not good.” Try to speak for yourself, unless you've forgotten how to do that. I realize the risk. You may just find yourself wasting away in Dukakis-ville. Just another leftist Democrat governor from New England, whose act the American people are not about to buy. On second thought, ignore my advice. Go on lying. Go on stealing your lines from anyone who thinks and writes better than you. If the Democrats are foolish enough to nominate you with all that on your record, they and you deserve what you'll assuredly get. See you behind an asterisk in the history books. Ciao, Congressman bob(a.k.a. John Armor)